Coping With Grief and Loss: Understanding the Grieving Process and Finding Hope

Grief is a natural response to meaningful loss, but it can affect nearly every part of a person’s life—including their emotional, physical, social, and psychological well-being. In primary care settings, patients may experience grief after the death of a loved one, a major life transition, changes in their health, the loss of a relationship or role, or another significant change.

At Gloria Gates CARE, we understand that grief can be difficult to navigate alone. Our team is committed to providing compassionate, supportive medical care and connecting patients with in-house behavioral health professionals when additional support may be helpful.

This guide explores the grieving process, common emotional and physical reactions to loss, healthy ways to cope with grief, and when it may be helpful to seek professional support.

Understanding the Grieving Process

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and no two people grieve in exactly the same way. Some people begin to adjust to a loss relatively quickly, while others need more time. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is a no specific timeline for healing.

The grieving  process involves the emotional, physical, and psychological adjustments that occur after losing someone or something meaningful. This may include the loss of a loved one, relationship, job, role, pet, health, independence, or another important part of life.

Grief is often described in stages, but it is important to understand that grief is not a straight process. You may experience different emotions at different times, revisit certain feelings, or experience emotions you did not expect. With time, self-compassion, and support, many people gradually adapt to their loss and find ways to move forward while continuing to honor what and who they have lost.

Although grief can be painful and life-changing, it can also create opportunities for reflection and a deeper understanding of what matters most.

Common Emotional and Physical Reactions to Grief

Everyone experiences grief differently. You may experience some of the following reactions, many of them, or none of them. Feelings can also come and go, sometimes unexpectedly.

Shock and Disbelief 

You may feel numb, empty, confused, or as though you are in a daze. It can take time for the reality of a loss to sink in. You may find yourself thinking, “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

Sadness

Sadness is one of the most common responses to loss. You may cry frequently or feel a deep sense of emptiness. Allowing yourself to experience and express these emotions can be an important part of grieving.

Anger, Blame, and Guilt

You may feel angry at yourself, other people, the circumstances surrounding your loss, or even the person who died. You may also experience guilt or repeatedly questions whether you could have done something differently. Recognizing these feelings can help you find healthier ways to process them.

Yearning and Longing

After a loss, you may feel a noticeable absence in your life. You may understand that things cannot return to exactly how they were while still longing for the person, relationship, role, or circumstances you have lost.

Helplessness and Anxiety

Grief can make you feel as though you have lost control. You may experience anxiety or worry, and emotions may surface unexpectedly. These reactions can become less intense over time, particularly when you have appropriate support.

Physical Symptoms

Grief can affect your body as well as your emotions. You may experience headaches, stomach discomfort, fatigue, changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, or feel more vulnerable to becoming ill.

The Five Stages of Grief

The Five Stages of Grief were introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. The model was originally developed to describe the emotional experiences of people facing a terminal illness. Over time, the five stages became widely associated with grief following many types of loss.

The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

However, it is important not to view these stages as a checklist or a step-by-step process. Grief does not follow a predictable path. You may experience the stages in a different order, revisit certain emotions, experience multiple emotions at once, or not experience some of them at all.

Gloria Gates CARE therapist Courtney Blair, LCSW, explains:

“It’s important to understand that these stages do not unfold in a neat or predictable order. Many people experience them multiple times or in different combinations. You might feel acceptance one day and return to anger the next. This doesn’t mean you’re going backward—it simply reflects the complexity of grief.”

1. Denial

At first, a loss may not feel real. You might think, “This can’t be happening.” Denial can be a way of protecting yourself from becoming overwhelmed by the initial shock and giving yourself time to begin processing what has happened.

2. Anger

As the reality of the loss begins to sink in, anger may surface. You might feel angry about the situation, at other people, at yourself, or even at the person you have lost. While anger can uncomfortable, it can be a natural response to feelings of hurt, fear, or helplessness.

3. Bargaining 

During this stage, you may find yourself thinking about “what it” or “If only” scenarios. You might replay events in your mind and wonder whether something could have happened differently. These thoughts can reflect a desire to regain a sense of control during an uncertain and painful time.

4. Depression

As the reality of the loss becomes clearer, you may experience deep sadness, low energy, changes in sleep or appetite, or a reduced interest in activities you once enjoyed. Sadness can be normal part of grief, but reaching out for support can be especially important when these feelings become overwhelming or interfere with daily life.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance does not mean that you are “over” your loss or that it no longer matters. Instead, acceptance can mean beginning to adapt to a new reality. You may find ways to move forward while continuing to remember, honor, and carry the significance of what you have lost.

Healthy Ways to Cope With Grief

Healthy coping doesn’t mean getting over a loss quickly. Instead, it means giving yourself permission to grieve while finding ways to care for your emotional and physical well-being.

Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

Sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, relief, and numbness can all occur during grief. Try to acknowledge your emotions rather than judging yourself for experiencing them.

Lean on Supportive People 

Spend time with trusted family members, friends, faith leaders, counselors, or support groups. Talking about your loss, sharing memories, or simply having someone present can help reduce feelings of isolation.

Be Patient With Yourself

There is no universal timeline for grief. Avoid comparing your grieving process with someone else’s. Give yourself permission to heal at your own pace.

Maintain Basic Self-Care

Grief can affect your physical health as well as your emotional well-being. Whenever possible, prioritize sleep, nutritious meals, hydration, and regular physical activity. Even small steps can help you maintain a sense of routine.

Prepare for Grief Triggers

Hollidays, birthdays, anniversaries, familiar places, songs, photographs, and unexpected reminders can bring intense emotions. Anticipating these triggers may help you prepare for difficult moments and give yourself extra support when needed.

Find Meaningful Ways to Express Your Grief

Journaling, creating art, prayer, meditation, talking with others, or honoring a loved one’s memory through traditions or acts of service can provide meaningful outlets for grief.

Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Alcohol, drugs, or other harmful behaviors may temporarily numb emotional pain but can interfere with the healing process and create additional challenges. If you find yourself relying on unhealthy behaviors to cope, consider talking with a healthcare or behavioral health professional.

Remember That Grief Comes in Waves

You may have a good day followed by a difficult one. This does not mean you are going backward. Healing is rarely linear, and difficult days can remain part of the grieving process even as you begin to adapt to life after loss.

When Should You Seek Help for Grief?

Although grief is a natural response to loss, professional support can be helpful when grief begins to feel unmanageable or significantly interferes with your daily life.

Consider reaching out to a counselor, therapist, grief support group, or healthcare provider if:

• Your grief feels overwhelming for an extended period.
• You are having difficulty managing everyday responsibilities.
• You feel persistently hopeless or disconnected from life.
• Your emotional or physical symptoms are interfering with your ability to function.
• You are struggling to cope with your loss.
• You have thoughts of harming yourself.

You do not have to wait until grief becomes overwhelming before asking for help. Reaching out for support is a sign of self-care, not weakness.

If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or feel that you may be in immediate danger, seek emergency assistance or contact a crisis resource in your area.

Recommended Books About Grief and Loss

Reading about grief can provide comfort, validation, and practical strategies for navigating loss. The following books offer different perspectives and may be helpful for people at various points in their grieving journey:

• Your Grief, Your Way: A year of Practical Guidance and Comfort After Loss by Shelby Forsythia
• A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
• Your Loss Matters: Real Talk About Grief in a World That Doesn’t Get It by Michele DeVille
• On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D., and David Kessler
• Someone I Love Died From a Drug Overdose by Melody Ray, a local author and child-friendly resource

Finding Support at Gloria Gates CARE

Grief can affect your mental health, physical health, relationship, and ability to manage everyday life. You do not have to navigate these challenges alone.

At Gloria Gates CARE, our primary care and behavioral health teams work together to provide compassionate, whole-person support. If you are struggling with grief or another emotional challenge, talking with your healthcare provider can be an important first step toward finding the support that’s right for you.

Final Thoughts: Moving Forward While Honoring Your Loss

If you’re grieving, remember that ther is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Grief is not a weakness—it is a natural response to meaningful loss.

Some days may feel easier than others, and healing rarely happens in a straight line. Give yourself grace, lean on people you trust, and seek professional support when you need it.

Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning how to carry your loss while continuing to live your life, honor what you have lost, and make space for hope.